Return of the worst
by Saliaven Chronotis
Summary: If you don't like this one, neither do I!


Return of the Worst  
By Saliaven Chronotis  
Part none 

You finally come back and this is the news?

As Ash, on foot for once, returned with Misty in one of his many visits to Pallette, a subject was raised that brought a pall over the journey. "Whatever happened to your father?" Misty asked offhand. That stopped Ash in his tracks and he got an evil look on his face.  
"I don't know. He went on a pokemon journey a year before I did and has never been heard of since."  
"Not one trace in gyms or pokemon centers?"  
"Not one." They walk on and eventually set eyes once again on Pallette. For a moment they both looked back on how they started and then the mood broke as Ash ran down the hill towards his house. As he rounded a corner he and Misty saw a figure leaning on a post. "That guy looks familiar" Misty said and then realization "he looks like you, Ash!"  
Ash looked at Misty and there was pain "that is because that is my father." He said slowly and in a low tone. That was when the man spotted Ash and came his way. But before he could say anything, Ash pushed past and walked swiftly towards his house. "You can't ignore me forever" the voice resembling Ash's came. Ash turned around and he looked angrier than Misty had ever seen him, and Misty had seen him plenty mad. "Oh, really?" he asked sarcastically "you managed to ignore me and mom for all these years." Curiosity suddenly overcame anger. "Where were you anyway?"  
His father looked taken aback, "On my journey, son." he stammered but Ash wouldn't have any of it.  
"I personally know just about every gym leader in the twin regions, and none have made any mention of you, neither has anyone I've met.  
"If you really must know, I was in the wilderness most of the time."  
"Why?"  
His father looked very surprised and then started to really stammer. "I...I...I'll level with ya. I've been chasing a pokemon."  
"Which one would take that long?"  
"My original one." He tossed out a pokeball, which revealed a squirtle inside. A sweatdrop appeared on both Ash and Misty's head. Making it worse, Ash's father said "For years I thought you had to catch them every time you wanted a pokemon back." The other two fell over and Ash got up first.  
"That is the most pathetic thing I've heard in my entire life."  
"Well, I decided once I got the little bugger back to come here and settle down, pokemon is most definitely not for me."  
Ash sighed and said "I'm still mad at you, but what happened here will be ten times worse if you try to talk to mom."  
"I have to try." After all this, the three headed towards Ash's house. Both he and Misty had put on crash helmets, which had not done much to calm his father. They reached the door and Ash said "let me try first." He opened the door and went in with Misty. There was a muffled sound of Ash's voice and then the roof tiles shook with Delila's voice. She stormed out and berated the cowering form of Ketchum senior "YOU COME HERE AFTER ALL THESE YEARS AND EXPECT TO BE WELCOMED!!?!?" She yelled, her head magnified to 10X.  
"I don't think you understand, I understand how you feel and think I am not a suitable husband for you. I agree we should divorce."  
"Good, excellent." His mom said in a smaller voice. "I was going to tell Ash and Misty this when they got here anyway. You can hear this too. I have decided after much thought that I liked Professor Oak, he liked me too. We dated a bit and decided to marry as soon as the kids got back. Gary is already here. We were going on a cruise on the SS Elder"  
Ash and Misty were awestruck "Th-th-the professor?" Ash stammered. His father looked interested. "I met a Mary Oak and I've already married her. I left her in Viridian to talk to you."  
Ash then was hit by a stroke of Logic. "If dad marries Gary's mother, I am his stepbrother. If mom marries his grandfather I am Gary's father in law. If I am the father of my stepbrother, I am my own father."  
"Hey Ash." Misty said.  
"Yeah, honey."  
"Call me mom."

The end.  
I admit this didn't need chapters, but what the hell? How many parodies did I put in the end? Three, one of a song by Ray Stevens (a guy who makes parodies of oldies songs), eldershipping and Space Pirate: Mito (A tenchi-like anime series that seems to be known only to me.)


End file.
